Birthdays

Hello everyone! It's been a while since I've blogged but lots has happened with our TreeHouse and so I'm back now! This summer went by so fast and one of the main changes was that my boss left TreeHouse. He and I were the ones who set up and opened the Plymouth TreeHouse 3 years ago so it was very hard to see him go. Things are finally starting to settle down and get back to normal! Thanks for all your prayers surrounding this!

Last night I sat in support group with a group of pretty rowdy and rough girls. The two boys in my group didn't say much. One of the girls has been coming for about 2 years now and she thinks she is the stuff! It was her birthday this past week and when I asked her what she did to celebrate, she informed me that her mother won't let her celebrate her birthday anymore. Her relationship with her mom is so estranged that she won't let her get a cake, have a party or even really celebrate at all. She said that her mom does tell her happy birthday every year but that is about it. When I was younger my birthdays were always incredible! I had a hawaii theme one year, I got a brand new bike one year, and when I was a teenager I even got my own phone in my room! Amazing. But for this girl, birthdays come and go like any other day.
The worst part of it all is that her older sister get's a party every year. Her mom get's along much better with the older sister so she throws her a party each and every year. Leaving "Sammy" feeling even worse. This girl is only 14 and she can't remember the last birthday cake she had. I got to request my cake each year. She can't remember the last healthy conversation that she had with her parents. I talked to both of my parents on Sunday, and exchanged "I love you's" before getting off the phone.
I just can't imagine the immense amount of pain that these kids go through each day. I am so thankful for the life I have been given and so heartbroken by the lives my teens live. Please join me in prayer for all of the broken relationships in this world, and for all of the broken hearts of the youth at TreeHouse.
Thanks for reading! love you all <3

NICARAGUA!

Hey everyone! I just wanted to send out a quick prayer request for a group of four of our youth and my boss Tim who are currently on their way to Nicaragua. I dropped them off at the airport this morning, 7/14 and the kids are geeked! Two of them have never flown before and none of them have been out of the country before. Pray for their safe arrival, for calmed nerves and for their hearts to be open and willing to do the work of God this week! Thanks guys!

Kare 11 Teen Pregnancy Interview

Minnesota Department of Health, 4,944 babies were born to teen mothers in 2008.

And while the number of teens getting pregnant has not changed dramatically in the last decade, the reason for their decision to become pregnant has.

Julie Nelson recently sat down with a group of young girls who are about to become mothers or who already are. The girls range in age from 16 to 20 years old. Most of them come from single parent homes where they say their parents just are not involved. And, the vast majority of the girls have no relationship with their baby's father. But what they all have in common is that they all believed having a baby would make them happy.

Their Stories:

It's after school on a Wednesday, and Sandie, like millions of other teenagers is checking Facebook.

"I'm looking at prom pictures," said Sandie.

And, like other teens, she's talking about college.

"I'm waiting to hear from Bethel (University)," added Sandie.

Sandie received a composite score of 23 on her ACT tests. That is higher than the nationwide average of 21.1. But in the last few weeks, Sandie who is 17 years old, has something more urgent than college to prepare for. She is about to have a baby.

A few weeks ago, she heard the baby's heartbeat.

"I was happy. I was like, 'oh, it's real!'" Sandie exclaimed.

When Sandie found out she was pregnant, three months ago, she did not react with sadness or even disappointment. For her, having a baby did not create a problem, it solved one.

"I don't think a baby would hurt me the way other people have... I definitely felt like I would have unconditional love for real," Sandie explained.

For many of us, the idea of a teenager wanting to have a baby is hard to imagine.

"I think they're searching for love. There is this hole inside of them that isn't being filled," said Wayne Thyren, and others who work at the non-profit agency TreeHouse, say it is becoming a familiar trend.

TreeHouse reaches out to at-risk kids in the Twin Cities suburbs. A number of years ago, they started noticing a shift, not in the number of teens getting pregnant, but in the reason they were.

LIVE WEB CHAT: TreeHouse answers teen pregnancy questions Friday, May 14 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

"When they're first thinking about it it's the solution to the problem of being lonely," explained Jill Walker of Treehouse.

KARE 11 talked with nine young women, including Sandie, whom TreeHouse is serving. All of them either became or are about to become teen mothers. And, all of them, though they say they did not become pregnant on purpose, believed having a baby would be a good thing.

"Because what would a baby mean?" I asked.

"It would stick by you," said Tia.

"It would give you that love that you're not getting from nobody else," added Des.

"For me, a lack of my mom, she wasn't a great person to me, and never has been. I think I could fill that with a child, and prove to my child that I can be better than her," said Lacy.

"I felt alone. So, I just was like, I think I could have a baby and a love a baby and will love me back. So, then I wouldn't have to worry about someone else loving me," said Sandie.

"We see a lot of survival kids, survival mode kids. They don't have the network, the resources, the support. They're sort of latch key kids, and then some," said Walker.

The counselors say the kids are looking for a way to stop the pain now.

"Parents may not believe this, (those) who have a troubled teenager, but they (the teens) don't get up in the morning and say, "How can I mess up my life?' They get up in the morning and say, 'How can I figure out my life? My life is a mess. I need to figure it out.' In the process of trying to figure it out, when there isn't anyone else around, they turn to drugs, sex, having a baby, as answers to problems then have," explained Thyren.

Of course, the reality of teen pregnancy is quite different. According to The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy only 40 percent of teens who have a baby at age 17 or earlier finish high school, which means they most likely have fewer opportunities and earn less money the rest of their lives.

The girls we talked with realized all of this too late.

"Oh, I cry constantly," said Lacy.

"I'm eight months (pregnant) now, and I'm about to have my son, and it's terrifying. It's not the solution that I wish I would have chosen," added Des.

"It's hard. Sometimes you just break down and just cry," said Victoria.

"I think it's especially sad for some of the young ladies who really did have some goals for themselves, but once this event happens in their lives, this really changes their lives forever. That just doesn't go away. And, again, what they thought was going to be the answer just doesn't turn out that way," Thyren explained.

"I would tell anybody to wait, wait as long as you can. It's hard," Tia warned.

"I feel like I'm old, but I'm still living as a teenager, but I feel like I'm just old. I've just been through so much. I'm just old. It's hard," added Des.

What's your well story?

I was in charge of speaking for spring retreat this year, and let me tell you.. I was very nervous. That means I was in charge of four talks through out the weekend. Granted that was my only task for the weekend, but I was still very nervous.

I ended up speaking on the woman at the well. She was a woman with a past and everyone knew it. However when Jesus met her, he did not condemn her for her past or call her names (as many had done) he simply loved her and compelled her to be different. Through out the weekend I asked the youth to write out their own well story and at the end of the weekend they were encouraged to share them with the group.

Many of our youth at treehouse have pasts. Some of them have been in jail, have been addicted to drugs, have been molested or raped, or just been really hurt. And the wonderful news is that God meets them where they are at, and wants to heal their hearts. The whole weekend I wanted to really drive in the fact that when they accept the reality of their situations and are honest with what they have done or have had done to them, they will be able to heal and move on. I'm not sure if that happened or not, but I pray it did! When it was time for the youth to share their well stories, I was nervous that no one would get up. However, I heard four accounts of youth who have been stuck in different situations in life and who want to change, and who are asking for God's help! I was so proud of them for sharing in front of the group. Of course I cried, and cheered.

The coolest part of it all is that we as TreeHouse staff get to run alongside these youth now as they start to be honest and begin to heal. I feel so privileged that these kids would share their inner most thoughts and fears with us. What a great job you all allow me to have.

Thanks for reading and encouraging me!

here is the spoken word of the woman at the well. This is kind of what our youth performed on the last day.

van stats!

As I was driving to do rides for TreeHouse this week, I looked out at the hood of our mini van and smoke was billowing out! I pulled over and had to have another TH van pick me up! So for the first time in a long time I got to ride in the back of a van and have conversations with the youth in my van. There were only 10 kids in the van and as I was looking around I was seeing the diversity, beauty and brokenness of each of them.

7 of them come from one parent families or families of divorce.

3 of them have parents in jail.

2 of them have been raped or molested.

8 of them struggle in school and feel un-heard.

5 different races were represented.

2 of them have father's who are actively involved in the gang system.

1 has been in jail.

5 have been physically abused by their parents.

1 is not from America.

2 have been pregnant.

All of them want to be loved!

Thank you for helping me love on these incredible and beautiful youth!

"I have no more tears to cry."

I just started mentoring a new girl at TreeHouse. She is a senior in high school and one of the most open and honest people I have ever met. She has had some life experiences that have made her very cold and hard towards the world. She has no patience for people and doesn't want fake relationships.

On my second time meeting her she retold me of the extensive abuse she endured as a child. Things that would have haunted me forever, but she simply said, "I have no more tears to cry." As she was telling me about this I just kept on praying. God, be with her, heal her heart, show her she is worth more, help me listen, help me love.

It's hard for me to image what must have happened to her for her to say she has no more tears to cry. It is amazing to me that she continues to reach out to God and want a relationship with him. She is turned off from most people, relationships, sex and love, but she still loves God. That is amazing to me.

She answers any question I have for her and always welcomes advise. She is on track to graduate high school this year which means I will only get to mentor her through the end of this summer. I really hope that our relationship will continue to grow and that she will be impacted by the ministry at TreeHouse.

Teen Pregnancy

8 girls at our TreeHouse are either pregnant, or have a baby under a year and a half. Is it something in the water?

I am so frustrated with how unfair this is, and how unsafe these "kids" are being! I feel like I could talk to these girls day in and day out about sex. How not having it is the PERFECT birth control. And if they can't go on that path, that they NEED to be using birth control.

But some of these girls got pregnant on purpose. They see a baby as someone who will love them unconditionally.. but what they don't realize is that as the parent, you are in charge of loving them unconditionally.

As I step back and look at these girls and their family situations, many of these girls do not have fathers who are actively involved in their lives. And many of their mothers spend more time yelling at them and telling them what a waste of space they are, than loving them. Their parents are not loving them unconditionally. For some of them, their parents are not loving them at all. Having a baby often looks like having someone to love you. But being a parent means giving a lot more than receiving. I can think of countless times of me not giving my parents the recognition or love that they deserved, and them still loving me in return. These girls don't have parents like mine, so it is no wonder they see a baby as a way to fix their lives.

At this point what can I do? Giving up your baby for adoption is seen as a weakness with in these teenagers culture. The one girl who did give up her baby for adoption gets a bad wrap for it all the time.

I look up to her for her strength.

So my only option is to try and support these girls and reinforce that they are lovable, capable and worthwhile. That they are not alone, and that I will love them no matter what. Maybe my unconditional love for these girls will one day make and impact in their lives.

As always, please join me in prayer for these girls, for their children, and for their families.

peace to you. thanks for reading.

heather

Disappear

It was almost 12:00 am on Saturday night and my phone rings. I usually have my phone turned off by this time, but I accidentally left it on. When I answered the phone I could hear the slight sniffles of one of my girls. The first thing she says is, "I have never wanted to disappear more than I do right now."

As I listened to her story I couldn't help but get emotional. She has had such a hard life. With an alcoholic mom and a pot head dad she hasn't had much of a chance. Her parents split up when she was very little and her mother was still using drugs. She and her siblings have been shuffled around from house to house, eventually ending up with their father. All of the kids have anger problems, so things can get pretty heated at their house. Often they will end up saying something to their dad, and he then responds with a phrase such as, "I wish you were never born."

Earlier this fall her older sister gave birth to a baby, and the baby was so sick that she ended up passing away. And now she finds out her father is having another baby. With his girlfriend, whom all the children dislike.

She said, "I'm f***ing mad at God. Why would he do this to me? Why would he take away my sisters baby, and give one to my dad and his girlfriend who are high as a f***ing kite?"

I wish I had a good answer for her, but I don't. Some things in this world are so hard for me to believe. I do not believe that God "caused" this to happen to this sweet girl. I do believe however that He is with her in the midst of this. Though it is ever so hard to see, I know God is there. This girl told me later the next day that she was going to be praying for her dad because he is so messed up. She also said the only thing she can find comfort in during times like these is Psalm 88. If you get a chance to read it, it is a very dark psalm. David is crying out to God and feels like God isn't there. She finds comfort that even people in the bible feel scared and alone sometimes.

I am so impressed with her that even in her darkest moments, when she wants to literally hurt her father, she can still find it in her to pray for him. She has struggled with anger her whole life, so we try to really encourage her when she chooses to break that cycle.

Keep this girl in your thoughts and prayers this week. She needs all the strength she can get!

Girls ALL NIGHTER!

This past week Tami and I took 10 jr. high and high school girls on an all nighter! We left after treehouse got over on Thursday night and headed straight up to Brooklyn Park to the Brunzwick Zone. There we got to bowl for an hour and then play some LAZER TAG.

I came in 2nd in lazer tag, I might add!

After that we headed over to Applebees for some half priced apps and soda. Of course the kids didn't have school on Friday, so they felt sooooo cool going to a restaurant at midnight! Once we had had our fill of chips, salsa, chicken wings and coke, we headed back to my house for the night. The girls, much to my surprise just wanted to go to bed! So we ended up watching a movie and most of them just fell right asleep. Probably because many of them were in junior high and still have bed times!

The next morning Tami and I got up and made some chocolate chip pancakes and we had a family meal together! It was so great to see these girls who absolutely do not associate at school, come together and have a great time. We didn't have a specific purpose for this retreat, other than bringing a group of girls together who don't necessarily associate outside of school. I don't know if that has helped build any bridges between girls, but I do know that they had a great time!

The New Year!

Hello everyone! Treehouse is into the new year and things have been hard so far. I knew that we were in a bit of trouble because of the economy not being up to par, and being that we all had to take a furlough this fall I was assuming that this year would bring about yet another furlough. However last week we found out that two of our beloved staff at TreeHouse were going to be let go as well as all of us taking a 10-15% pay decrease for this upcoming year.

Plymouth TreeHouse happened to be one of the only fully staffed (4 people) areas so we lost one of our male staff members, as well as brooklyn park. It has been so hard to see him go. We had his goodbye party this past Thursday and it was amazing to see all of the lives that Tim impacted. Many of the youth in the room were crying and recounting all of the times he had helped them through their situations. I heard from several different girls who had been either abused or raped in their lives say that he was the first male that they had ever really opened up to. Since many of these kids don't have fathers in their lives it is very hard for them to want to have a relationship with our male staff. However, Tim Eaton surpassed those boundaries and found a way into their lives. And now their lives will never be the same. As shown Thursday night. One girl even said, "You are one of the reasons I believe that true love between a husband and wife is possible."

These statements both make me incredibly happy and break my heart. I'm so glad that we had Tim for as long as we did to help impact the lives of these youth. I will miss him so much in this upcoming year and I hope you will join me in prayer for TreeHouse. I pray that we will not lose any more staff and that we will get back on track financially. I realize that God is way bigger than all of these setbacks we are currently having, but it is hard to remember that on a daily basis.

Also keep Tim Eaton in your prayers and he journey's on to a new adventure in life!

thanks all!